I don’t like watermelon. There, I said it. It just doesn’t float my boat or tickle my fancy or wiggle my pickle or perform any of those other euphemisms that make one fall in love with something. I announced this today in front of a few acquaintances while we were discussing summer fruits and I got the same reaction I always get. Wide-eyed gasps while one person exclaims in a high-pitched astonished voice, “Whaaat??? You don’t like waaatermelon?” Honestly, I don’t understand why everyone loves it so much and the only responses I seem to get are, “but it’s sooo goood!” (Somehow the discussion of watermelon seems to cause people to drag out their vowels in a failed attempt at speaking in a charming southern drawl.)
My non-love affair with watermelon has been going on all my life and so has the flack I’ve been getting for it. Now you won’t find my husband, M, complaining. He “loooves” watermelon and this means he gets to eat all of mine in addition to his. My mother also didn’t have a problem with it when I was young for the same reason. She did give me sideways glances every time I turned it down, but then I gave her a sideways glance every time she sprinkled salt on her watermelon before sucking it down!
Because I was taught well not to be a picky eater and to be adventurous and try things, I have kept up my attempts to make friends with this strange fruit. Alas, I have continued to fail until, one day at a conference I met a watermelon dressed up like one of my favorite fruit friends, the tomato, often does. At first when I saw this concoction, I was quite taken aback. “Whaaat?” I thought. “Nooo, it can’t be. A wolf dressed in sheep’s clothing!” So astonished was I that I had to try it immediately. If nothing else than to expose this poser as a fraud and finally declare once and for all the hopelessness of the watermelon.
Boooy, waaas I suuurprised.
All of a sudden I, yes I, “loooved” watermelon! Well, at least I loved watermelon salsa. This shiznit was “goood”! (Alright, I hear ya, I’ll stop with the long vowels.) I couldn’t believe my tastebuds and thought for sure they were tricking me. Had my taste finally changed? Did I now like this red mushy watery fruit I had been damning for so long? I was determined to get down to the bottom of this. I set out straight away and bought the best watermelon I could find. I bit into a piece and sure enough – BLEH! I knew I wasn’t crazy. It was gross. Then I set out to make salsa just as I normally would with my trusty tomatoes except I replaced them with the watermelon. Nervous, I dipped in a chip and BAM! That same burst of deliciousness coursed through my mouth. Feeling dazed and confused, I finished a whole bowl.
Is it the lime juice, the pepper, the cilantro or jalapeno? I don’t know but I’m done questioning it. I’m just going to go enjoy my tub of salsa now. I’m sorry, tomato!
Servings:8 • Size: 2/3 cup • Weight Watcher Points+: 1
Calories: 50 • Fat: 0g • Carbs: 12g • Fiber: 1 • Protein: 1g
Sugars: 9g • Sodium: 150g • Cholesterol: 0mg
- 1 cucumber, peeled and seeded
- ½ small red onion
- 3 green onions
- 1 jalapeno
- 1 medium 5 pound watermelon, cubed
- ½ teaspoon kosher salt
- ¼ teaspoon ground black pepper
- 2 Tablespoons chopped cilantro
- Juice of 2 limes
Dice the cucumber and finely chop the red and green onions. Place them in a large bowl. Cut the jalapeno in half lengthwise. Remove the seeds and ribs from the inside and finely dice. Add to the cucumber and onion.
Add the watermelon, salt, pepper, cilantro and lime juice to taste. Toss very gently. Serve immediately. Keeps for up to 2 days.